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Kurt Metzger: White Precious free download games. Kurt metzger: white precious free download album. Photos Add Image Add an image Do you have any images for this title? Edit Storyline Kurt Metzger stand-up special. Plot Summary, Add Synopsis Details Release Date: 7 July 2014 (USA) See more  » Company Credits Technical Specs See full technical specs  » Did You Know? Quotes Kurt Metzger - Comic: Let's just figure out some ground rules with this crowd. so just I know what's ok. What do you guys think is the worst curse word is to say? Audience: Cunt. Yeah. You answered that very quickly and that was the right answer. The C word. Oh, it's a terrible word. That's the one my mom told me to never say. I wasn't even saying it. She just kicked open the door to my room. DON'T SAY CUNT! PLEEEASE. Very important to her. But it is the worst word, right? You guys look like a nice. are... See more ».

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At a certain point in his special White Precious, comedian Kurt Metzger homely refers to himself as “Uncle Kurt, ” and he might be the kind of Uncle that youd go visit on a regular basis to get away from the humdrum of everyday life. Erudite without being snobbish, while effecting an easygoing delivery style, Metzger manages to draw from a wild reliquary of scenarios and write extremely well about them – all of which makes the 36-year-old comedians first hour stand-up special good enough to share a named with an Oscar-nominated film. To clarify, the idea of “Uncle Kurt” is only mentioned one time in this album, so its barely even a moniker – let alone an alter ego. However, Metzgers stage presence is split: the tells-it-like-it-is/no-nonsense Kurt Metzger-persona is, “not enchanted by your whimsy” and really doesnt like the state of Alaska. However, the sarcastic/satirical Kurt Metzger-persona believes that homosexuals should be firebombed in “Gods drone strikes” and cant seem to hail a taxicab in New York City despite using “all of his whiteness. ” The first persona is humble and self-monitoring, yet direct; the second persona is given to extreme (and, thankfully, obvious) caricature. If the no-nonsense Metzger were to allow some degree of whimsy, one might imagine the caricaturing persona to be called “Uncle Kurt. ” If one were to actually visit ‘Uncle Kurts abode, here is what one might find: One or two recorded homilies (which Metzger might allege to stem from his days as an ordained minister) explaining that 75% of religion is “[using] your holes the right way. ” Five-thousand copies of Montel Williams 0. 01 self-help book, Mountain, Get Out of My Way, which have been ironically piled into a small mountain against Uncle Kurts roommates door. Said roommate, Steve, whom Uncle Kurt might claim marriage to – not because he loves Steve, or even prefers men, but so he can gain health insurance. A black penis – which might get ‘mushed against your face. If that last example seems strange or made up, then just know that the no-nonsense Kurt Metzger will call you a “Country Mouse, ” and welcome you to life in the city. Yes – this version of Metzger is absolutely the kind of literate comic who will reference one of Aesops Fables in order to point out your own naivete. And if you prefer your literary knowledge in the form of movie references, dont worry – no-nonsense Kurtzger has a joke about having “made a friend of horror” in New York City, just like the iconic Colonel Kurtz did in Apocalypse Now. Specific bits like these are incredibly fun in any context, but what a prospective Kurt Metzger album-buyer should ultimately know is that the material on this album primarily serves as a jaunty window through which to view lifes events. Metzger has over ten years of experience in New York City – renting exorbitantly-priced rooms, losing iPads in cabs, and trying to connect with homeless people on a meaningful level. Such experiences and others add layers and layers of perspective with which to view other structural issues existing on the national level, such as gay marriage, veterans affairs, rape, and general bigotry. This is all to say that paying for a Kurt Metzger album is as much paying for relevant social discourse as it is paying for extremely well-written comedic bits about anal virginity, Walmart, and the degree to which the city of San Diego takes after Nazi Germany. Kurt Metzgers White Precious is available now on Amazon, iTunes, and CC:Stand-Up Direct.

Stand-Up Specials In Kurt Metzger's first hour-long special, he gives his opinion on everything from child beauty pageants to the financial crisis. Kurt metzger: white precious free download mp3. Kurt Metzger: White Precious free download manager. Critics Consensus No consensus yet. Tomatometer Not Yet Available TOMATOMETER Total Count: N/A Coming soon Release date: Jul 7, 2014 Audience Score Ratings: Not yet available Kurt Metzger: White Precious Ratings & Reviews Explanation Movie Info Kurt Metzger stand-up special. Rating: NR Genre: Directed By: In Theaters: Jul 7, 2014 wide Runtime: 60 minutes Cast Critic Reviews for Kurt Metzger: White Precious There are no critic reviews yet for Kurt Metzger: White Precious. Keep checking Rotten Tomatoes for updates! Audience Reviews for Kurt Metzger: White Precious Kurt Metzger: White Precious Quotes News & Features.

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Kurt metzger: white precious free download music. Kurt metzger: white precious free download movie. Kurt metzger: white precious free download movies. Kurt metzger: white precious free download video. Kurt metzger: white precious free download pc. Kurt metzger: white precious free download full. Kurt Metzger may be the nicest and most reasonable person onstage and off, who simultaneously is joking about things and using language to which many strangers might take offense. Perhaps he truly is “White Precious. ” Thats the title of his first hourlong stand-up special, which debuts tonight on Comedy Central and already is available unedited and longer via CC: Direct, iTunes, Amazon and elsewhere. Metzger is so affable, in fact, that hearing him mistakenly identify someones gender, discuss the applicability of the c-word, child beauty pageants, and mosques near 9/11s Ground Zero within the first 15 minutes finds you rolling with laughter instead of roiling with displeasure. Toward the end of his special, he publicly apologizes. “Did I apologize for these jokes already? ” If anything, Metzger is the one whos worried. When he gets on the phone with The Comics Comic earlier this week (before he learned hed earned an Emmy nomination for writing Comedy Centrals Inside Amy Schumer) hes fretting about a joke he made in the special about Alaska, seeing something on Facebook that was similar to it. He put a lot of stress and sweat equity into making “White Precious, ” but the end product is quite smooth. “Its really very stressful. But they were very cool with producing, the process of it. But, yeah, ” Metzger told me. Why so stressful, though? “Just trying to make it good, ” he said. Youre almost as worried about joke overlapping as Dave Attell is. “Well, nobody fucking stresses like he does. Hell call up and go, you know your joke about clown farts? No, I never had a joke about clown farts, ” Metzger said. “One joke I had, Tom Rhodes has a super-similar one, that I found out about way too late. I wrote a Facebook post about it. I had no idea he had such a similar line to mine. But he was cool. It was embarrsassing. Even the title, I heard Chris Rock said in Grown Ups 2 said white precious or Kathy Griffin said white precious somewhere. ” Here is an animated clip of Kurt Metzgers bit on child beauty pageants from “White Precious, ” which certainly you havent seen anywhere else before: Its really just a matter of the waiting being the hardest part for Metzger. “When we shot it to when it comes out, its eight months, so its a lot of time to worry about stuff you fucked up, ” he said. And it took a while to even put the special together. “A couple of years, ” he said. “I remember getting the contract for it, but it kept getting delayed, which was good. It allowed me to get better. One time they wanted to delay it. One time I did. Im glad that I did. Not doing it too soon never hurts. Its always good to have more time. ” Having “White Precious” on TV and available to buy should get Metzger some more dates at comedy clubs on the road, he hopes. “Id really like to be able to draw (an audience) ” he said. He had to prepare much of the hour within 15-to-20-minute spots in New York City showcase clubs. “I havent really been a road warrior with it, ” he said. You almost could have seen a lot more of him this summer on Last Comic Standing. After winning best joke of the entire seventh season of Last Comic in 2010 (and handed a bronze chicken trophy during the primetime TV finale) Metzger auditioned again this year. But blink and you missed him. Any regrets? “I threw my old bronze chicken away. I broke it up and threw it out, ” Metzger said. He said the show reminded him of the perils of reality TV. “I did it because I thought I could get some PR out of it. But then I didnt even get out of the first round. Ive got a bug up my ass about it, but its really my own fault. Its my own fault, ” he said. “Its on me. I knew what it was when I got into it. Yeah. I should have not done it. ” Hes also done some TV, both behind the camera and in front of it. He was a voice on the short-lived Comedy Central toon, Ugly Americans, and has written for and appeared in sketches for both seasons of  Inside Amy Schumer. He also wrote this spring for a new VICE talk show hosted by Jim Norton, as well as Sundance TVs The Approval Matrix with Neal Brennan. “You have to do a bunch of shit to be visible. Im not a hot comic. So I have to do whatever I can, ” he said. What makes someone a hot comic, do you think? “One is to be young. Being young helps you be in demand. Plus you could just do good jokes, ” he said. “I think Louis CK was talking about it in something. Its not like being an athlete. Once you age, youre getting better at this job. ” Besides: “I dont have other things going for me. ” Its comedy or bust. Earning an Emmy nod for Inside Amy is a cherry on top of what already was a sweet gig. “Amys show, thats such a choice writing job. Every aspect of that is the best possible scenario, ” he said. “But in general, I dont want to write for things. I just have to for the money. ” And if his friends are involved. Such as Rory Albanese with Neal Brennan on his show. Or Norton on his VICE pilots. “I really loved that. Hopefully it will work out. It was really fun. Were editing it now, ” Metzger said. “Theres a guy Jim brought in when we shot to work on the monologues. Because I didnt work on the monologues. He had Jesse Joyce and another guy…that was pretty enjoyable because I have a similar sensibility to Jim…that was really cool. ” What does having his first hour mean to him? “To me, it means road work. I dont know what it means in the grand scheme of things, ” he said. “You just go to do everything. I do. I dont think theres a single make-or-break thing for me. Its very rare — the holding deal — where you do the one thing. I have to throw shit on the wall. ” Sometimes thats literal and figurative, when it comes to his Facebook Wall. “I use it to work out jokes, so thats really the whole point of Facebook for me. Im too lazy to finish them. I need approval halfway through. Its not even a coherent thought. I need a thumbs up to go ‘You can do it! And then I write a full sentence, ” he said. For a while this spring, however, his normally busy Facebook posting schedule had slowed to a crawl while he worked on his TV writing. “If Im putting a lot of shit on Facebook, I either dont have a job or I do have one and Im procrastinating. But I cannot fuck around. I dont even have a good work ethic. There was just a lot of pressure on me to do two things. I also get hot and cold with it. I get manic with it. So Ive been on the downswing on my mood with it. Who gives a shit? Whats the point? ” he said. “I post a lot of shit at once. One time I posted so much stuff my sister asked me, ‘Are you OK? So yeah, Im hot and cold with it. ” Hes cold with using Facebook as a dialogue with new fans. “Im not concerned with my free entertainment Im giving out on Facebook, ” he said. “Ive gone out of my way to try to lose people on there. Fucking unfriend me. Well, there you go. Theres never been a better time than now. I really need only 300 people on there for my purposes. Thumbs up. Its eight pounds of shit in a 3-pound pack. ” For promotion of “White Precious, ” hes going back to his roots a little bit — “I wrote these brochures. Theyre almost like Jehovahs Witnesses for the hour. Theyre going to send them around. ” Metzger grew up in Jehovahs Witnesses, but left the church at 21. “Theyre kind of funny, ” he said of his promotional brochures. “The graphics. Some kind of vague religious jibberish. ” But now, hes off to Montreal for two separate weeks of shows at the Just For Laughs festival. Then its back to a third season of writing for Inside Amy Schumer in September. He also just sold a script to Comedy Central with Nikki Glaser and Monroe Martin. “I dont know when I start writing that, ” he said. In the meantime, you can join the more than 563, 000 followers of Kurt Metzgers “Race Wars” podcast with Sherrod Small and Kaytlin Bailey. Heres another clip of Metzger from “White Precious, ” talking about the economy. Buy Kurt Metzger: White Precious, the full unedited version now on CC: Direct or these fine outlets: Earlier: Meet Me In New York, Kurt Metzger.

Go Premium and get no ads, unlimited skips, and listen offline. Stay up-to-date and sign up for our newsletter Get the mobile app   Learn More LiveXLive Get The App Subscribe Support Contact Terms Privacy Do Not Sell My Personal Information Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram 2020 LiveXLive All Rights Reserved. Kurt metzger: white precious free download videos. Kurt Metzger talks to young people about sex, we should listen Kurt Metzger is more a household voice than he is name. He can thank the new breakout Comedy Central animated series Ugly Americans as Metzger supplies the voice to Randall, the zombie roommate of Mark, the series main protagonist. Once you hear the mans voice, its distinction is pretty unmistakable. READ MORE Kurt Metzger's "White Precious" Once upon a time, way back in 2011, Kurt Metzger released an album that cracked me up. It was smart, well-written, and most importantly, very funny. How do you follow an album as good as that one? You release a CD like “White Precious, ” where the first track is called “Get Ready For A Letdown! ” to extinguish any raised expectations listeners may have going in. Fortunately, the title Metzger chose for this cut couldnt be more off-the-mark as this time around he treats us to a project that is even better than the last. READ MORE How 'Horace and Pete' Made the Network Suits Look Good The single-minded artist fending off compromise in order to realize a vision is a powerfully romantic narrative, but great art is just as often about effective collaboration. While the history of bad television and dismal movies is filled with sad stories of a plethora of cooks in the kitchen, or of commercial motives trampling artistic ones, too much artistic control can be a danger as well. Dave Chappelle, who may be the most gifted comedian alive, now answers to no one, but his current stand-up can wander wildly off course. Woody Allen has earned so much autonomy that his movies can seem hermetically sealed, apart from the world. READ MORE Kurt Metzger's "Talks To Young People About Sex" It's probably a fairly obvious statement to say a good comedian is also a good writer. Of course they are. But by that same token, I feel writing is the facet of stand-up comedy that is most overlooked. A comic is often good because it feels like nothing has been written; it comes off like a conversation with the audience (granted, a very one-sided conversation) that has a natural flow to it and we forget that each line - often times each word - has been meticulously chosen for a very specific reason. Comics write in very different ways. Some, like Orny Adams in the movie Comedian, write out each and every joke on a piece of paper and keep it filed away. Others, like David Cross and Marc Maron, do a lot of their writing on the stage, an approach that simultaneously impresses and scares the crap out of me. READ MORE COMEDY CENTRAL Records Releases Kurt Metzger's "Talks to Young People About Sex" Digital Album on June 28 NEW YORK, June 13, 2011 /PRNewswire. Known for voicing the role of Randall the zombie on the animated hit "Ugly Americans. Kurt Metzger steps out from behind the drawings to deliver one of the funniest hours of stand-up heard in a long time. Metzger's "Talks to Young People About Sex" digital album will be released on COMEDY CENTRAL Records on Tuesday, June 28. In this hour set taped at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, Metzger explains the difference between Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dazs, why God could be a woman and the reasons we should forgive Tiger Woods. READ MORE Kurt Metzger “White Precious, ” is cant miss stand-up comedy At a certain point in his special White Precious, comedian Kurt Metzger homely refers to himself as “Uncle Kurt, ” and he might be the kind of Uncle that youd go visit on a regular basis to get away from the humdrum of everyday life. Erudite without being snobbish, while effecting an easygoing delivery style, Metzger manages to draw from a wild reliquary of scenarios and write extremely well about them – all of which makes the 36-year-old comedians first hour stand-up special good enough to share a named with an Oscar-nominated film. READ MORE Album Review: Kurt Metzger - White Precious Kurt Metzger's ( kurtmetzger on Twitter) hilarious new stand-up special, White Precious is a refreshingly dark and misanthropic way to spend an hour. Fans already familiar with his popular podcast, Race Wars will not be surprised by the candidly abrasive tone. Metzger gets away with this material because it is also intelligent and thoughtfully conveyed. Undoubtedly, Kurt Metzger is one of the most underrated names in comedy. READ MORE Talking with Kurt Metzger About His Emmy Nomination Kurt Metzger is so damn funny. His comedy special “White Precious” aired last month on Comedy Central, to rave reviews, he killed at Montreal Just for Laughs in The Nasty Show, and you can see him performing in clubs all over New York City regularly. And stand up is only part of the picture– he also records a hit podcast, “Race Wars” with Sherrod Small weekly, and hes been writing his ass off for shows like Chappelle Show, and The Jim Norton Show on, and he was recently nominated for an Emmy! Metzger has been writing for Inside Amy Schumer for both of its two seasons and the show is without a doubt the best written sketch show on tv today. RJ Waldron talked with Kurt recently about writing for the show, and being nominated in this latest edition of “The Set. ” If you love stand-up, if you love sketch, if you love Inside Amy Schumer, youll definitely want to read RJs Kurt Metzger interview. READ MORE "Horace and Pete" Is Louis C. K. s Most Audacious Independent Creation Yet On Saturday morning, just after ten o'clock, while the lazy or childless among us were still futzing about for coffee in our kitchens, the comedy auteur Louis C. sent an e-mail to his list of subscribers announcing the release of a surprise project. "Hi there. the e-mail began. "Horace and Pete episode one is available for download. 5. Go here to watch it. We hope you like it. A couple of clicks and a credit-card authorization later, fans had access to a startling, sometimes funny, often despairing hour and seven minutes of "Horace and Pete. written and directed by, and starring, Louis C. K. READ MORE 3 Reasons Why Louis C. 's 'Horace and Pete' Might be the Best Series of Our Time If there's any show that can be said to symbolize our present "golden era" of TV, it's Horace and Pete, the comedian Louis C. 's new series set in a Brooklyn bar. C. unveiled the 10th and final episode this weekend. This is is an odd thing to say when you consider the fact that C. released the series via his website without the need of a network, and that Horace and Pete feels more like a docudrama or an episodic piece of theater than anything I've ever witnessed on a small screen. READ MORE.

Kurt Metzger is no stranger to controversy. From his Facebook post about the UCB Theatre to his online arguments with blogger Lindy West, the comic definitely knows how to push a few buttons. In his new hour special, White Precious, which premiered Friday night on Comedy Central, Metzger toed the line of edgy without ever actually crossing it. He talks about many topics some may consider offensive such as the use of the word cunt, pedophiles and being raped in prison, but it never feels like he goes too far. Metzger takes the stage by stopping the audiences applause and telling them to calm down because the special may not go that well. He keeps a good rapport with the audience throughout, making it feel like you are watching a comic whos working a loose set in a club and not an overly polished television routine. In my opinion, this works. There isnt a strong through-line, but it still kept my attention and had me laughing throughout. He starts off strong with a joke about the way men dress to impress their “type” of women, following this by saying, “I dont have a type. I just cast my net and get what I get. Sometimes its fresh tuna and other times its an old boot. ” It was a great way to start off a special, with a solid, safe joke thats guaranteed to get people laughing. It continues throughout, with Metzger hitting a bunch of different topics to keep the audience on their toes. The name of the special comes from his final joke about an incident with an New York City taxi and a caucasian woman who happened to resemble the titular character from Precious. know, the one based on the novel Push by Sapphire. After the woman tried to steal a taxi from Metzger he politely asked her to share the cab and offered to pay for the fare. This caused her to freak out and accuse him of sexual assault in broad daylight, at which point he proceeds to list the reason why this is such a wild accusation, specifically because she looks like a white version of Precious. Its a funny joke and a fun story that really helps you get to know Metzgers personality. He doesnt let people push him around but will also hide from the cops in a CVS for 20-minutes when he offends a woman and happens to have “a months worth” of weed on him. Though I really did enjoy the looseness of Metzgers performance, I would have loved to see him commit more to some of his bits. Watching the special, I felt as though he would start to get on a nice tangent about a specific topic, get a laugh, and then take a complete 180 to a new topic, sometimes even coming back to a topic he had already spoken about. The jokes are there and funny but he could have hammered them home a little harder. I would suggest checking out White Precious to both Metzgers fans and those unfamiliar with the comic, but outside of that I wouldnt say it has much re-watch value. As much as I enjoyed it, Id much rather wait and hear some of these jokes or new jokes in person, in an actual live setting, which is where Metzger really seems to shine.

Season 1 is currently not available. Overview System Requirements Related Available on Xbox One HoloLens PC Mobile device Xbox 360 Description "White Precious" is the first one-hour stand-up special from former minister/salesman/illustrator/repo man turned headlining comic and "Inside Amy Schumer" writer Kurt Metzger. His gritty yet charming humor will have you laughing all the way to hell or the principal's office. From child beauty pageants to cyberbullying to the most repulsive sight one could see on the streets of New York, Metzger's hilarious point of view is sometimes controversial but always entertaining. Additional information Duration 1 episode (1 h 11 min) Portions of content provided by Tivo Corporation. 2020 Tivo Corporation.

1h 11m White Precious is the first one-hour stand-up special from former minister/salesman/illustrator/repo man turned headlining comic Kurt Metzger. His hilarious point of view is sometimes controversial but always entertaining. YouTube.